Smeed

What's this you've said to me, my good friend? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and I've been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in the entire neighborhood. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. Think about it, my friend. As we speak I am contacting my good friends across the USA and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my chess set. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little comment was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. You're finally living, friend.